Have you ever wondered why some people become successful and others don’t? Well, who hasn’t? The problem is, we often assume that successful people have something we lack, be it extraordinary talent, money and connections or simply a lot of luck. And sure, these things might help – but they’re not what success is made of. Rather, success is the result of resilience: the ability to face criticism and rejection when pursuing your goals.
To make your dreams come true, you need to be comfortable with moving past your fears.
Many of us had big dreams when we were young. We wanted to be athletes, musicians, astronauts or even a president or prime minister. Yet as the years go on, most of us settle for modest and unassuming jobs. The reason most people give up on those early dreams is fear. The bigger the dream, the bigger the fear of taking the leap required to make it a reality.
For example, the dream of being prime minister or president means entering the world of politics, which requires being comfortable speaking in front people, getting votes and the prospect of giving a speech before the members of congress or parliament. This all requires a lot of preparation, not to mention familiarity with the issues that are affecting people’s lives.
Naturally, it’s overwhelming just to think of all the dedication and hard work this would take. What if you get behind a podium and freeze up? Or worse, what if you say the wrong thing? There are so many possibilities for it all to go horribly wrong.
So there are two options: you can either give up or you can face your fear. And, of these two options, one is clearly a whole lot easier. Most people give up.
Most people want to experience the dream without the fear, but this just isn’t possible. The only way to reach great heights is to stare down your fears and conquer them.
Okay, so to get yourself started, try this visualization exercise:
Let’s say your dream is to be a novelist. Close your eyes and picture yourself taking the steps to make this dream come true. As you do this, you’ll feel that natural fear emerge, but instead of avoiding it, sit with it and accept it. Now, imagine yourself working through that fear and writing your book and, after long last, typing the words “The End.”
As you picture yourself finishing your goal, you’ll feel a surge of positive energy that will keep you on the path to your dream. And the fear and excitement of the undertaking will provide you with adrenaline, the fuel you’ll need to step up to the challenge that lies ahead.
Having the passion to realize your dreams requires great commitment.
If your dream is to be a Navy SEAL or a CIA agent, then it’s fair to say you have a life-threatening dream. If you’re chasing these kinds of goals, being prepared to die to make your dream come true is par for the course.
But you need this passionate commitment even if your dream isn’t a real threat to your survival.
One thing’s for sure: making a dream come true is hard work, requiring you to overcome obstacles and face levels of rejection and criticism that would break most people’s spirits. When these low points arrive, you’ll need to have a death-defying passion if you hope to continue.
If you’re just testing the waters to see if you can put a talent to use, you won’t last long. And if you have as much passion as the average person, you’ll collapse before you reach the first hurdle.
So the first step is making sure that your dream is something you are truly passionate about.
To make sure you’re properly prepared, here are some pointers:
- One of the most powerful dreams a person can have is to fight for justice and equality. There are few motivations as potent and as satisfying as helping others. So if your dream helps other people and is philanthropic in some way, you’ll have a better chance of keeping it alive when times get tough.
- But it needn’t be a noble cause. People have accomplished amazing things by devoting themselves to things like setting a new world record in exploration or extreme sports.
- For others, all it takes is passion for starting their own successful, money-making business.
Whatever it is, it must be a dream that you hold very dear, because you will face rejection. Your passion is what will keep you going.
If you have a fear of sharks, the last thing you’ll want to do is go deep-sea diving and surround yourself with great whites. But if you’re trying to overcome your fear of sharks – well, diving right in might not be such a bad idea.
The emotion of fear can be overcome through the process of desensitization.
Psychologists began advocating desensitization when they discovered that fearful patients were getting good results after being repeatedly exposed to the source of their fear.
Whether it’s meeting new people, heights or public speaking, repeated exposure will gradually turn that fear into something you can tolerate. This is important to remember in the pursuit of your dream, since you might think that you can never be an actor if you have crippling stage fright. If you continue to play roles, gritting your teeth and pushing yourself through it, by the tenth play you’ll be wondering what you were so afraid of.
Desensitization requires practice and a willingness to continually challenge yourself. The more you do this, the fewer fears and obstacles you’ll have separating you from your dreams.
To get yourself started, create a list of everything you’d want to accomplish in life if there wasn’t anything standing in your way. Now do the visualization exercise again and imagine starting toward these goals and getting repeatedly rejected – but then, for one or two of your dreams, imagine being accepted. If just two out of ten dreams come true, the eight other rejections would be totally worth it, right?
Now that you have healthy perspective, you can get started on your dreams for real and begin sending in those applications for opportunities that trigger scary feelings. And when the inevitable rejection letter comes your way, you can celebrate it, knowing that you’re on the right path.
Good luck and follow your passion!
-X- Marietta
